In grief you learn to understand your would-be comforters, those who try to console you with empty words or gestures. You expect others to know what you are feeling, but it is not possible. For a while your soul may refuse to be comforted. You alone appreciate the depth of your personal experience of grief. The truth is that no one can comfort you to your expectations; nor can you grieve to the expectations of another. Grief is not a job with a performance standard. Comfort is yours to reject or receive.